EDISON, NJ– Student Christphia Colamboi ’25 shared her secret to the perfect score one can achieve on the AP. U.S. History exam: time traveling to 1492.
“Columbus is such a funny guy, we had so much fun together!” Colamboi exclaimed. She recommended this method to every AP History student,
“I mean, The American Pageant is so boring, I physically could not sit at my desk, writing notes for hours every single miserable night of my life! Nothing beats living it,” she said.
“I was planning on getting a signature from Columbus, but he saw my Rae Dunn notepad with the words ‘DREAM BIG GET A 5 ON AP EXAM’ and my pink pen with a pompom on it and looked at me like he had just seen an alien. To be honest, I was confused about his confusion,” expressed Colamboi.
“I was planning on writing some useless information I needed to memorize for the exam on my nails for the big exam day, but this definitely made it easier for me!” said Colamboi. She expressed just how pleased her teachers, who didn’t think she’d get beyond a 2, will be to find out she scored a 5 on that mean exam.
The two A.P. U.S. History teachers at Edison High, Ms. Jennifer Sidorski and Ms. Leanne Rubiano were scared of the student when they heard Colamboi talking about her wild experience.
“Before resorting to this, she followed me home, claiming I ‘had to’ help her pass the AP exam. I was petrified…,” said Sidorski.
The other AP U.S. History teacher, Rubiano also had some unsettling experiences with students.
“A couple of years ago I had a student get the key concepts for the AP exam tattooed on herself— her hands, arms, legs, all tatted up. I had to take a couple of sick days to process that,” said Rubiano.
Assuming the people want to know how she got to explore with her new muse, here’s how: She shifted! Shifting refers to moving your consciousness to another reality by focusing and visualizing. Oftentimes, the shifter will write down specific details of their desired reality which in this case, is the discovery of America. They must go into specific names and characteristics of people, places, and events.
“I also had to find the right type of pillow to feel comfortable and the right type of music to get me in the mindset to shift. I did some serious work to find authentic Renaissance music from composers such as Giovanni Pierluigi da Palestrina since he was Italian, but those songs weren’t even close to the songs Columbus played for me!” said Colamboi.
“I usually prefer artists like Benson Boone but I put up with some Giovanni Pierluigi da Palestrina for Columbus,” she added.
Colamboi wrote down all the specific events she wanted to experience and the details on a piece of paper. She wrote down all the details of the discovery and exploration, claiming she struggled with those two topics the most. Colamboi explained her process, saying “unlike her assigned notes,” she was taking notes for a “good cause” this time.
Colamboi lay down and put her focus on shifting to live through the series of events she wrote, eventually drifting off to her desired reality. Colamboi claimed she was thrilled to explore with Columbus, also known for his unwelcome advances towards women and his unwavering abilities to exploit humans.
“Towards the end of my ‘trip’, some romantic feelings began to develop between Columbus and me… It felt like we were on Love Island,” exclaimed Colamboi. “I even bought him a Stanley Tumbler to use during his explorations!”
Colamboi claimed that Columbus told her “Ti amo,” which means “I love you” in Italian.
“I melted on the spot when he told me that! After watching the Italian teen drama Baby and falling for Lorenzo Zurzolo, there was no way in heaven I could resist another fine Italian man! Columbus might be 400 years behind the genetic update Zurzolo has, but he is still the man in my heart!” said Colamboi.
“We now communicate on Snapchat,” said Colamboi. “ He is such a funny guy,” added Colamboi while showing a picture of the famous explorer with a baby face filter eating spaghetti.
